Open Doors to Future Possibilities

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FOUNDED: 3 January 2019

A California Nonprofit Public Benefit Corporation

Consultation Center & Academy for Healing and Transformation

MISSION:

To help as many people as we can to achieve their goals and lead happy, successful lives through Education and Transformative Conversations and to promote values that aim at decreasing or eliminating inequity; promoting inclusiveness of diversity; and establishing environments that are supportive of all people.

  • At the Consultation Center, we provide our community members with low cost consultation services for only $10 an hour. We offer Life Improvement Consultation Services to individuals, couples, and families. These services involve engaging our clients in Transformative Conversations to help them improve the quality of their life and relationships, overcome the problems and obstacles that are holding them back, achieve their goals in different areas and live their life consistent with their values and intentions for life. We do not agree with the pathologizing content of the Diagnostic and Statistical Mental Disorders (DSM) and consider the labeling of people as unethical. We do not diagnose, neither do we prescribe any medication to our clients.
  • At the Academy, we provide the students with an understanding of Philosophy, Anthropology, History, Critical Thinking, Ethics, Effective Communication Skills, Deconstructive Listening and Questioning based on Social Constructionist Perspective and Post-Modern, Post-Structural Theories such as Narrative and Feminism. The students will learn to utilize these collaborative approaches to help the clients identify/establish and achieve their individual and relational goals. The assessment tool utilized is a research-based Personal Agency Questionnaire developed by the Founder (Simone Lundquist, Ph.D.). The Academy offers three levels of Education and Training:

1. The Beginner Level Training Program (Four Months)

2. The Intermediate Level Training Program (Three Months)

3. The Advanced Level Training Program (Six Months)

  • We will provide Scholarships to the first 9 students who send us their applications to attend the Beginner Level Training Program, by May 30th, 2019. The applicants are required to have a 4-year College degree to qualify for application to the programs offered at the Academy. These students will be exempt from paying tuition fees for the four-month intensive Beginner Level Training Program offered at the Academy. Among the students who successfully complete this Beginner Level Training program, 3 will be awarded with another scholarship to complete the 3-month intermediate program offered at the Academy. All students exempt from tuition are obligated to serve the community members who come to the Consultation Center 10 hours a week during their education at the Academy and six months after their graduation from their program. Upon completion of their obligations to the community, they will be offered paid positions at the Consultation Center and the Academy if they have established their trustworthiness in delivering the services they have been trained on.

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Secrets: What to Share and What Not to Share

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Destructive Secrets

Let me be very clear here. Sooner or later, secrets will definitely destroy your romantic relationship and will also hurt both your and your partner’s feelings in deep and sometimes unamendable ways.

To determine if a secret is destructive or not, you can ask yourself what would happen if your partner finds out about it.

Is she/he going to leave you?

Will that be a deal breaker?

If the answer is “yes,” then with keeping that secret, you are actually taking away your partner’s right to make decisions based on facts, as they would have access only to half-truths that you have provided, or no idea what the truth of the matter is.

Out of curiosity, I have tried to find out about the nature of this habit of “keeping secrets.”

I have found it interesting to ask the secretive individuals to reverse the situation and think how they might feel and react to discovering the same hidden secrets in their partner’s life.

At this point, almost all of them tell me they wouldn’t tolerate such deception and end the relationship!

What amazes me is that even after that cognition, they continue to keep that secret from their partner and justify their action by saying that if they disclosed the secret, their partner would leave them!

Yes, they might be right! Their partner might attempt to end the relationship!

However, there are many effective ways of solving that problem so they can continue their partnership, only this time, with honesty and transparency which will promote trust on both sides and long-lasting happiness for everyone.

The situation often gets worse when the secretive individuals continue to keep secrets, as they will have to lie again and again and continue to engage in secrecy every time there is the threat of the secret being exposed!

First of all, living under the pressure of facing that threat can be a quite overwhelming experience which is going to negatively impact their mindset and emotional state in ways which will, in turn, hurt the relationship they so desperately want to maintain!

Secondly, having kept the secret, they will always doubt their partner’s honesty and won’t be able to trust them!

And thirdly, they will never know if their partner will ever be able to love them knowing that they are flawed or they have made some mistakes in their lives.

You see, they lose anyway!

And when their partner expresses unhappiness in the relationship and wants to leave them, they never connect the dots and understand that this distance between them and their partner has been initiated by the “poisonous secret!”

So, it’s truly to the advantage of everyone in the relationship not to keep secrets you know would be deal breakers.

Admitting to your mistakes and offering your sincere apologies and making up for the damage made will save your partnership in magical ways!

Toxic Sharings

One of the other relationship-killing traps people find themselves in is when they share everything with everyone in their lives. 

Withholding information that is not necessary for someone to know is one of the crucial keys to happiness.

I have witnessed so many relationships destroyed just because one member of the couple was sharing all that his/her mom/dad/sibling/friend has said about their partner with him/her.

And then sharing their Partner’s thoughts and reactions back with them.

You won’t believe how many relationships I have seen fall apart for this single simple reason.

Honesty does not mean you have to share everything.

Share what is important within the context of the relationship, but keep to yourself anything that is unnecessary and likely to hurt the person to whom you disclose it. 

For instance, the harmful things others say about your partner. You might think that by sharing such information with them you are creating an ally for yourself, but in the long run, that sharing will backfire and hurt both you and your partner.

I have witnessed many instances in which people who share the unkind or hateful things others say about their partner with them.

After a while, they find out that they are trapped in an inescapable spot, right in the middle of the battleground, and that they are the ones who are targeted the most and have to take the harsh words from both sides.

Honesty is beautiful.

Let’s be honest with our partners and make our relationships ever-growing and flourishing by refusing to conceal the truth which is significant in our relationships, withholding the hurtful information that is meaningless in the context of our partnership, and communicating clearly and affectionately to find out how we can make up for our mistakes rather than hiding them.

Let’s discriminate between what needs to be shared and what not, by asking these simple questions about the information to be disclosed:

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Is it kind?

How Consultations with Dr. Simone Works

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I see “the problems” as being the problem…not people.

I encourage you to believe in your visions, make plans, persevere joyfully, never give up, and expect miracles, to trust your capabilities and try everything possible to achieve your goals; and if you need an ally to be with you and help you get what you want from life, I am here to help.

In my own life, I’ve come to learn that even in the darkest moments, there are things we can do to keep us going.

For me, it has sometimes been a simple walk around the block or offering a smile to uplift a stranger apparently in need of solace.

At other times, it has been an outdoor activity that I enjoyed like swimming, hiking, playing tennis, golf, bowling, and even mountain-climbing.

At times of my poignant experiences in my own life, when the darkness has been so deep and the pain that was eating away at me felt unbearable, I have dug into my soul to find the courage to do something creative – I have pushed myself to learn to play the piano, guitar, even drums!

My latest adventure has been taking classes learning to sing jazz!

I also take great pleasure in writing and am working on a novel right now.

I have learned again and again that my happiness is my own responsibility and I am really the only one who can make my dreams come true.

If you would like to break free from your inner pain and are tired of suffering, if you are ready to overcome the problems that are hurting you and keeping you down, and if you frankly feel it’s time to create more happiness and success for you, then I am here to help you do all of those things and then, some more…

My life-changing programs are tailor-made to your individual needs and will help you find out what you really want from your life and equip you with super effective tools you need to get what you want out of your life:

YOU can become the Star of your dreams; attract into your life, more desirable people and circumstances.

YOU can free yourself from unhappy relationships or solve seemingly unresolvable problems in your current relationship to stay strong together, forever.

My programs are designed for those who are willing to work hard to start getting what they want out of their life, right now.

You may have heard or experienced it yourself, that once you go to a consultant, you have to keep on going for a very long time.

I don’t require that of my clients.

I help you achieve what you want in record time.

And I promise that I will be with you, every step of the way, till you complete your program.

I’ve been fortunate to have succeeded in helping so many people mastermind their dream life and celebrate their victory over unhappiness.

You, too can start living your dream life: it IS possible and YOU can do it!

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear: “This is all about YOU and what YOU want in your life. No matter what others expect you to be or do.” 

So, come, let’s make “trouble” for your problems and create a happier, more successful life for you.

If this is what you’re interested in, click the button below to schedule your special discounted, initial consultation with me.

I am available for consultation in person, by telephone, via Facetime, Zoom and Skype.

Please take advantage of my special offer for an initial consultation and book your first consultation session with me by clicking here.

Let’s invite more success, happiness and prosperity to your life! What say you?

Are You Standing In The Way Of Your Own Happiness?

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There will inevitably be obstacles in our paths to happiness.

Along the way from where we are to where we want to be, we will encounter impediments to our ability to move ahead in life; there will be problems to solve and obstacles to overcome.

Surely there will be obstructions in our way. But are you standing in your own way?

One of the saddest things I have witnessed in life is when fear takes over and people give up on their dreams of success and happiness.

They face questions like: do I deserve this position?

Do I deserve her/him?

Can I handle the demands of this new lifestyle?

Shall I go for this opportunity?

Am I setting myself up for failure once again?

Where do these questions come from?

All the invalidations and criticism we have received since childhood from important others and authority figures?

The rejections and failures that have left scars on our emotional body?

The question here is: for how long are you going to let your past failures dictate to you where you are going?

Isn’t it time to stand up to the past and reclaim your ability to success and happiness in life?

How about making something meaningful out of your painful experiences and using those as solid foundations to your future happiness rather than giving in to the poignancy of those incidents and giving up on you?

The darkness imposed by fear on you and your life will disappear as soon as you let bright light of hope in fruition of your dreams come through the window and shine on you…

Abusive Relationships Hurt Everyone Involved and More…

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Everybody talks about how they want to have a good romantic relationship in their life.

But what do we mean when we talk about a “good relationship?”

From what I’ve learned personally in life and the experiences that my clients have generously shared with me, I can say that a “good relationship” promotes both members of the relationship.

It’s supportive of their efforts to achieve both shared and personal goals. It offers strength and confidence to both parties.

It encourages them to overcome obstacles and prevents them from giving up on their personal and shared dreams.

So, tell me! Are you in a “good relationship?”

Are you dancing the Grand Tango of life together?

Hand in hand, moving harmoniously towards achieving each of your personal and shared goals, protecting each other from others’ attacks?

If not, let’s find out if you are in an abusive relationship.

When we talk about abuse, often people think of physical or sexual abuse.

Yes, of course, such heinous behaviors exist and are dreadful acts by which abusers control those under their oppression.

However, let’s not forget the ghastly effects of emotional and verbal abuse on those who have been rendered powerless.

Verbal and emotional abuse are very dangerous as they cause severe damage to the survivors’ self-esteem, self-worth, and dignity.

As a result, the survivors won’t dare to walk away from the abuser and take advantage of the opportunities life offers to them, because they’ve come to believe they are not worthy of those opportunities.

If you are being emotionally abused, leaving seems to be the hardest thing to do.

Remembering that YOU are worthy of happiness, will give you the courage to fight back and demand the abuser to stop the criticism and the emotional outbursts.

Reminding yourself of your strength, abilities and past successes will also inspire you to claim your life and power back and take action: attempt to amend or rebuild the ruins of what’s left of your relationship, or walk away.

I know it’s easier said than done.

But it is possible and you can do it!

Think about what it is you are teaching your abuser and your children, who are witnessing the abuse, by staying in abusive or unhappy relationships.

Are you giving the message to your abuser that it is ok to treat you with disrespect or harm you?

Are you teaching your kids to be submissive and endure abuse?

See, staying in an abusive relationship and allowing it to continue, is bad for every single one involved in that relationship.

All members of the family will give up on the dream of happiness.

They will just succumb to the status quo; a learned helplessness!

These relationships are also very damaging to those who love you and silently witness the dreadful traces of the abuse on your body and emotions but can’t intervene without your request or permission.

If you are convinced you are in an abusive relationship, then the first step is to remember that the way you treat yourself tells others how to treat you.

Take care of yourself.

Be respectful of your needs and wants, and others will follow that route; as a result, everybody ends up feeling happy.

Be kind to yourself, make plans to fulfill your needs, wants, dreams and desires.

Love and kindness start with you being kind and loving to yourself.

If your partner fails to show you the respect and affection you expect, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

When trying to stand up for yourself, don’t get too focused on fighting the Darkness.

Darkness wants you to exhaust yourself investing all your thoughts, actions, energy and time in the battle.

Don’t forget that by focusing on fighting the Darkness, you actually reify it!

Soon you will feel too tired to fight back and give in…

Don’t waste all your time and energy fighting the Darkness.

Stand up to it, but at the same time, be the Light! 

Spread hope, flourish and move towards achieving your goals and succeed!  

If that seems not likely in presence of your abuser, then get up and leave.

Talk with your friends or family members about the abuse.

There is no shame in being abused!

You should be proud of yourself for surviving all that abuse!

Find as many allies as you can.

If no one is available, call domestic violence hotlines and get some good information as to your rights and available legal aid, and if needed, shelters for survivors of domestic violence.

It’s ok if you are scared if you worry about the future for yourself or your kids.

What you can count on is that if you don’t take action, nothing is going to change!

Martin Luther King says: “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

Be calm and do not antagonize your abuser.

Make plans and act accordingly, making sure that you will be safe in the process.

As Henry James eloquently says: “The right time is anytime that one is still so lucky to have.”

Make sure you know that you are worthy of happiness!

Then, get to work and make yourself happy, and Expect Miracles…